After completing our video the first time around, we were given feedback that had some suggestions on how we could improve it. Upon looking at this feedback and reviewing our video we felt it appropriate and indeed necessary to make some editorial changes and insert some new shots which we rejected in the first cut. Below is the final cut of our music video after some changes had been been made:
One of the aspects of the feedback that we were already concerned about and so agreed with was that the lack of performance shots in the video made it seem slightly more like a short film than a music video as it was intended. In response to this we set aside another day for filming where we found another actress to play the part of the artist and filmed several shots of her lip syncing the words of the track. We edited these shots into our original cut and it immediately remedied the proposed problem and made the entire video feel like a music video production. As a result of the inclusion of performance shots we had to cut a lot of other shots down which lead to our decision in removing the scene where the girl misses the bus. We decided this was a wise decision as although it was intended to be another scenario in which the girl's day continues to go wrong, it was not as important as other such scenes. For example, the eviction from her home or breakup were crucial moments and so it would be a wiser choice to cut the bus scene and include performance shots to ensure we followed the main conventions of music videos in having some performance.
Another crucial aspect of our video that we thought best to change was the ending. We based this choice, again, on feedback we received upon posting our first video on YouTube. A few people commented and felt that the ending worked well but its intended meaning was a little too ambiguous, so much so that they didn't understand it. To rectify this we decided that a better way to end the video would be to do it concisely and end on the artist so that she is the last thing the audience will connect with the track. We thought it worked best to pair the visuals with the lyrics in the last shots of the video. The lyrics being "my vicious tongue cradles just one", we used two jump cuts, one close up of the artist's hand which she holds one finger out to the word "one" the first time it is spoken, and the second time we have medium close up from a higher angle which sees the artist lift her head as she sings the lyrics. This is an absolute and resolved ending with no room for ambiguity and we all felt this was a better ending and that we had made a very positive improvement.
We also edited the cheating scenes so as to follow the constructive criticism we were given by our teachers. The concern was that the scene was too explicit and so possibly offensive to viewers. Although we originally felt this scene to be in no way inappropriate, we followed the advice we were given and put on a blurring effect combined with the effect 'ghost trails' that ultimately made the shot content go out of focus, so the kiss between the two characters as well as themselves are made out of focus. This insinuates the idea of cheating without spelling it out completely for the audience, adding a sense of mystery to the shot and narrative which I feel to be a great benefit.
